Deciding on Care for Elderly Parents in Declining Health
By LESLEY ALDERMAN
TWO years ago my father, then 83, became very ill. Until then, he had been living alone in a pleasant one-bedroom apartment on the Hudson River, an hour’s drive from my home in Brooklyn.
After a couple of months in the hospital it became clear that my dad, Harvey Alderman, could not return to solo living. He was fragile and forgetful, and there was no way he could keep track of the 14 or so pills he had to take each day.
But where would he go — and how would we pay for it? Could he stay in his apartment if he had regular visits from an aide? Or should he go to an assisted-living facility where there would be more services available for him?
So began my family’s crash course in caring for an aging parent in declining health.
If you’re in this predicament, you know already there is no simple answer. Older people each have unique medical and emotional needs. And finances often dictate how far you can go in creating the ideal situation for them.
That is what Linda Chase, a lawyer in Reston, Va., realized after running the numbers on what it would cost for home care for her mother, who has dementia and needs round-the-clock attention.
“We couldn’t afford private home-health care, so the only option for us was assisted living in a facility with dementia care,” Ms. Chase said.
Below, I offer guidelines and considerations that can help you make an informed — if not always easy — decision about what type of housing will support your parent’s needs, without bankrupting the family in the process.
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For more assistance with an aging loved one in your life visit our website at http://www.family-caregivers.com/.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Caregiver Support Groups, can they really help the Caregiver?
by Gerry Fioriglio RN, BS Geriatric Care Manager
Thank you for visiting our blog and reading our posts. The last post was an article written by Byron Pulsifer about how to take care of the caregiver. At Family Caregivers Network we hold monthly caregiver support groups for anyone who is a caregiver. Whether you provide direct care or are indirectly involved in the care of someone you are a caregiver. Often caregivers are intimidated by support groups. They are afraid to share their story. Many caregivers believe they are managing their role and don't need to discuss their situation with other caregivers. Yet when they attend a meeting caregivers find they identify with the stories of other caregivers. At Family Caregivers we believe that by sharing your story you can help others as well as yourself. You just need to let down your guard. This is easier for women than for men. Men don't easily share their emotions which can cause them to have "caregiver burnout" at a much higher rate than women. In the past 10 years of facilitating caregiver support groups only a handful of men have attended our groups. Yet those who have attended our support groups found the support and fellowship needed to be a stronger caregiver. To learn more about caregiver support groups and how to take care of the caregiver tune in to PCTV "What's Happening" online Thursday, August 5th at 12:00 pm. Go to website, http://www.deneliott.com/ and click on the video for "What's Happening" Live call in questions will be taken during the show. You can also view the show on Pottstown Comcast Cable Channel 28 or 22. Join us, I look forward to your comments. I can be reached at gfioriglio@family-caregivers.com anytime for questions about caregiving.
Thank you for visiting our blog and reading our posts. The last post was an article written by Byron Pulsifer about how to take care of the caregiver. At Family Caregivers Network we hold monthly caregiver support groups for anyone who is a caregiver. Whether you provide direct care or are indirectly involved in the care of someone you are a caregiver. Often caregivers are intimidated by support groups. They are afraid to share their story. Many caregivers believe they are managing their role and don't need to discuss their situation with other caregivers. Yet when they attend a meeting caregivers find they identify with the stories of other caregivers. At Family Caregivers we believe that by sharing your story you can help others as well as yourself. You just need to let down your guard. This is easier for women than for men. Men don't easily share their emotions which can cause them to have "caregiver burnout" at a much higher rate than women. In the past 10 years of facilitating caregiver support groups only a handful of men have attended our groups. Yet those who have attended our support groups found the support and fellowship needed to be a stronger caregiver. To learn more about caregiver support groups and how to take care of the caregiver tune in to PCTV "What's Happening" online Thursday, August 5th at 12:00 pm. Go to website, http://www.deneliott.com/ and click on the video for "What's Happening" Live call in questions will be taken during the show. You can also view the show on Pottstown Comcast Cable Channel 28 or 22. Join us, I look forward to your comments. I can be reached at gfioriglio@family-caregivers.com anytime for questions about caregiving.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Caring About A Care Giver in Allentown, PA
Caring About A Care Giver
By Byron Pulsifer
So many emotions and so many thoughts of being helpless come to our mind. If you know of someone who is dying, or who is seriously ill, our hearts always seem to rest squarely on that person. For those who are concerned about this seriously ill or dying person, we usually want to help, but can't. We are not miracle workers; we are not able to heal them no matter what we may think of doing or wanting to do. But, in all our concern shown towards this person there may be someone else who desperately needs our help but seems to be far away in the shadows of our minds.
The person, who we can help, however, is the care giver especially if this person is the primary person extending at home care. Day in and day out, they are constantly vicariously living with their loved ones pain and anguish. The ups and downs that seem to come and go as if in a blur are there continuously. There is no way to escape the pain, the sorrow, the incessant question of being able to cope after their loved one has died. So, what can you do?
Frequently, the care giver needs to know there is someone there who they can talk to, to confide their inner emotions, their own anguish, and their feelings of deeper and deeper entrapment in a spiraling course of disease that they cannot alter. The endless trips to the doctor, medical tests that seem to be repeated endlessly, the attempts to control pain or the progression of the disease, or the 24/7 knowledge that their life will be forever changed with the death of their loved one, is their constant diet.
If you are unable to visit because of distance, you can call the care giver on the phone every week. Of course, you'll want to know how their loved one is, but you also want to know how the care giver is coping. This is the time when you want to develop your listening skills. Often, a good listener is more valuable than a great conversationalist. You want the care giver to feel free, to open up, and to spill their emotions out to you. And, your role is not to offer trite "I know they will get better soon' meaningless phrases.
To continue reading this article Click on thie link below,
http://ezinearticles.com/?Caring-About-A-Care-Giver&id=1080425
For more assistance with an aging loved one in your life visit our website at http://www.family-caregivers.com/.
By Byron Pulsifer
So many emotions and so many thoughts of being helpless come to our mind. If you know of someone who is dying, or who is seriously ill, our hearts always seem to rest squarely on that person. For those who are concerned about this seriously ill or dying person, we usually want to help, but can't. We are not miracle workers; we are not able to heal them no matter what we may think of doing or wanting to do. But, in all our concern shown towards this person there may be someone else who desperately needs our help but seems to be far away in the shadows of our minds.
The person, who we can help, however, is the care giver especially if this person is the primary person extending at home care. Day in and day out, they are constantly vicariously living with their loved ones pain and anguish. The ups and downs that seem to come and go as if in a blur are there continuously. There is no way to escape the pain, the sorrow, the incessant question of being able to cope after their loved one has died. So, what can you do?
Frequently, the care giver needs to know there is someone there who they can talk to, to confide their inner emotions, their own anguish, and their feelings of deeper and deeper entrapment in a spiraling course of disease that they cannot alter. The endless trips to the doctor, medical tests that seem to be repeated endlessly, the attempts to control pain or the progression of the disease, or the 24/7 knowledge that their life will be forever changed with the death of their loved one, is their constant diet.
If you are unable to visit because of distance, you can call the care giver on the phone every week. Of course, you'll want to know how their loved one is, but you also want to know how the care giver is coping. This is the time when you want to develop your listening skills. Often, a good listener is more valuable than a great conversationalist. You want the care giver to feel free, to open up, and to spill their emotions out to you. And, your role is not to offer trite "I know they will get better soon' meaningless phrases.
To continue reading this article Click on thie link below,
http://ezinearticles.com/?Caring-About-A-Care-Giver&id=1080425
For more assistance with an aging loved one in your life visit our website at http://www.family-caregivers.com/.
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